27 January

Heart exhausted by time and fail,
I am not strong enough for this love.
Never was, never will.

Time and trial – no matter
the start, the end always the same:
points sunken in, fails remembered
but ignored just the same.

I am not fit enough for love,
not like this, not in this way.
Suffer continually the pain
of only mismatched expectations
and hope again.

I am too weak to kneel
in this way.
No promises can be made, that have
not been broken before.
No resolves, no assurances
to be uttered that had not been
said before.

Turn my back onto chance and fate.
I hate them both, for causing me this
clear unmitigated pain. The fault is in me
for believing in them truly and purely.

Compassionate leave, respite wanted.
I am not strong enough to handle this love.


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