Tag Archives: heartache

A Taunting Mind

A mind that taunts one
thousand thoughts in the thick layers of the night.

What is it that brings this mis-timed
mind into the daylight hours
when the moon still catches-light?

Visions of binging fingers
continuously grazing the
palette of yours.

Imposter, frauded and fooling
those of who I am not.

What can this rest bring that
I cannot reach during the day?
Why must I sleep when it does nothing
but pass the day into days,
counting and reshuffling, forcing
me to move on?

Layer-thin walls.
I hear in them my fighting thoughts.

Oh how I miss your face.
Oh how I miss your voice.
Oh how I love you so.

And how alone and cold the weeknights and ends are.

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27 April 2015 (WIP)

At last have I
the pain to fill
the hearts of Keats,
of Darcy, Fitz.

Oh, such pains to
fill the Turners and
Nichols – this is not
a stong of loss, but
a product of art.

I am part of the greats,
of doing before thinking
and throwing in my soul the
heart into worlds it need
not know.

Now I’m one of my heroes,
an Austen, a writer, a player.
We’re all equal and all
it needed was mt soul to take.

A Bronte, a Welsh,
a Vizzini – we’re all one now.

23 April 2015

Tonight let us be filled with
hate and pretend that
it is love between you
and I.

The door is locked, no one’ll
know the difference for love
and hate sound
the same to covered
eyes, the unknowing
gaze.

I’ll take one for
the road – because God
knows I’ll miss it
when I start to
forget you.

The words, the face,
the pace of the way you spoke.
But I couldn’t dare
forget the closest thing
we shares; the mirrored
difference of peaceful love.

The closest I’ll get for at
least another night.
Until light breaks in love
dwells in hate.

27 January

Heart exhausted by time and fail,
I am not strong enough for this love.
Never was, never will.

Time and trial – no matter
the start, the end always the same:
points sunken in, fails remembered
but ignored just the same.

I am not fit enough for love,
not like this, not in this way.
Suffer continually the pain
of only mismatched expectations
and hope again.

I am too weak to kneel
in this way.
No promises can be made, that have
not been broken before.
No resolves, no assurances
to be uttered that had not been
said before.

Turn my back onto chance and fate.
I hate them both, for causing me this
clear unmitigated pain. The fault is in me
for believing in them truly and purely.

Compassionate leave, respite wanted.
I am not strong enough to handle this love.

Worlds of Nights Before Days

The whats make the who
who had four hours of sleep as
a consequence of a too much thinking
mind.

Hold me close, to solve
the riddle of questions that
never cease.

God damn, hold me close to close the night
and bridge the time between black to
light.

Would this help, to conquer
to save of the world of nights
before days of facing another day
that I cannot control?

Darling just hold me till morning —
for a moment plus many more.