27 January

Heart exhausted by time and fail,
I am not strong enough for this love.
Never was, never will.

Time and trial – no matter
the start, the end always the same:
points sunken in, fails remembered
but ignored just the same.

I am not fit enough for love,
not like this, not in this way.
Suffer continually the pain
of only mismatched expectations
and hope again.

I am too weak to kneel
in this way.
No promises can be made, that have
not been broken before.
No resolves, no assurances
to be uttered that had not been
said before.

Turn my back onto chance and fate.
I hate them both, for causing me this
clear unmitigated pain. The fault is in me
for believing in them truly and purely.

Compassionate leave, respite wanted.
I am not strong enough to handle this love.

Near Midnight Song

She kissed his neck, where pulse met skin.

‘You are alive.’

‘Yes I am,’ his statement struggled with short laughter that puffed out in two breaths.

‘And one day you will not.’ No answer came from he, neither movement nor word.
‘And I have you for this moment.

How wonderful is that.’

19 January

Closing eyes on a blurred
but made, undepressed bed-
side. Closing eyes to a thought of you
unseen by eyes in the living
timed world.

Rather I lie in this lie
that lives in the blurred world
of truth and formless nonlies.

Fall in love with thoughts and dreams
and words that fall them inbetween and
though leagues and sleeps apart, the cracks wide
enough to bed oneself with fogged
truths that build this lovely night mental
and nightdreamnt scene.

Luck + Grace to My Aid

To see you again
of this I wish.
My only wish, as
Reality sees fit.

Hardwork can get
my goals and dreams on.
But to win your heart and
mind’s eye means Luck
and Grace must both be kind.

Magic Divine must be the only
cause to have got me this far.
You’re already given my heart,
now I must try to capture yours.

Counting Down

Feed me to the dogs of Forgotten Hell
Count to 30 behind closed eyes
send my remains in rags – nothing else
matters more no longer now.

Count to 20 behind closed eyes.
Where are we and who am I
no longer can the Fates disguise. Hear
the shuttering speed of my mind’s divide –
attention held but dropped and bruised
throughout Rejected Time.

Count to 10 behind closed eyes.
A dream tonight given to a blind mind
and how I dare to dream you close
and remember the poses so of two bodies
greatly intertwined.